It was only about 4 months ago. I wrote the last paper of my 4th MBBS exam with so much doubt; unsure how the result would be. I needed myself to be distracted; I intensified my dance practice sessions, read more medical journals and generally did things that took me away from Paediatrics, Obstetrics and Gynaecology, for those were the professional courses I sat for. I found out that all my efforts at distracting myself, was all futile. I resigned to my fate.
Looking back now, i had thought that if the delay in publishing the results continued, I might have taken drastic actions. Till now, I m still not sure what those actions would have been.
My 4th MBBS Exams was scheduled to span 2weeks. That could as well have been the longest 2weeks of my life. It was like I had no other problems in the world. Every other thing stood still while each day of that 2weeks went by. I removed myself from the outside world and focused all attention on clinching success. Whether I merited the success is a topic for another day, but it was worth it.
I was away from school when the result was published. Before that day, I had harbored doubt in my heart. Success in Paediatrics was where my doubt emanated from. The methods the external examiners employed while examining us, was neither here nor there. It was a case of different tales for different folks.
My first Paediatric external examiner acted Fatherly towards me. I still remembered how he threw his hand over my shoulder and gave me a correction I would never forget. He may not know this, but he won a place in my heart. Of this same man, i learnt, was toxic to some of my colleagues after encountering him. Of all the external examiners in Paediatrics, he failed the most students, banishing them to resit exam.
My experience in Obstetrics and Gynaecology was interesting all the way. No major event, except for the fact that some other candidates were wiping tears from their eyes as the.y stepped out of the examiners room. Sad.
The 4th MBBS was challenging to all who sat for the exams. Result?
When my friend sent me a whatsapp message congratulating me, i was totally indifferent. For me, it was not a cause for joy. With close to 90 candidates who sat for the exams, just close to 50 got a clear pass. The others had either failed one or both courses. My close buddies were affected. It was so depressing for me. I lost all vigor to even celebrate my success with my family and friends. That is what medical school does to you. It keeps you ever aware that there is no super-intelligent person in any given class. And just when you think you have arrived, medical school has a way of humbling people.
So How Did I Feel When I Passed My 4th MBBS – I did not totally feel good. On a much larger scale I felt, down, depressed, annoyed at the process…. the exam and all. Believe me, it was not a good feeling.
It may sound odd, since I should be happy I had scaled the penultimate examination before my 5th and final MBBS examinations comes up. I pray not to feels this way in my last and final MBBS exams. But like i said, this is what medical school does to us…. IT LETS US KNOW THAT WE CAN NEVER STAND ON OUR OWN… WE NEED EACH OTHER.